Afternoon Companion


Evening Companion


Today would have been our fourth year together.

What a waste. What a loss.

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I found out something which once again triggered feelings of anger and hatred. On top of that, there are two people I call friends who seem to have the idea that everything was my fault. And I don't know if they are purposely making me feel that way.

One of them actually laughed at me, after telling me something. This friend really laughed at me. The person insists that what was being laughed upon was the situation, but I'm quite sure that the person was getting some sort of gratification from knowing that I'm going through shit right now. Anyway...

Tomorrow would be the third month since he broke up with me. I'm feeling better. Trying to move on. Still have anger issues, but trying very hard to move on. There are good days and bad days. The bad days are not that frequent, but when it does happen, it gets really bad.

I hate it that he still has power over me, that I am still affected by him.

I don't recall ever writing that I've been broken up with. I guess I thought that if I didn't see it in writing, it wouldn't be real. But it is real. And writing it down in words is something that could actually be helpful, instead of hurtful.

Hay, 2005 was trying, but I didn't think 2006 would be more trying.

But it's all good. And I'm happy because even if things have been testy for me, very good things are happening to people I love. Carlo's heroin has been brought to life on stage, and pretty soon on the silver screen. I had dinner with him a couple of weeks ago, and he seemed okay and happy. Dr. Doom also just got into a relationship. It's actually a bit weird. Just when I got out of a relationship, he gets into one. But I am very happy for him and his girlfriend.

There have been so many changes in the recent weeks and it's only June. I'm sure there's more to come in the coming days, weeks and months.

Woo woo woo!